After reading from her blog, i felt nothing done a woman with sense. Just sharing with you, read on, from my crush... LYDIA FORSON""It’s important to note that this piece isn’t meant in anyway to be disrespectful to feminists out there or the cause.
These are just my personal thoughts and struggles with the word and movement and a piece I’ve hesitated to write because I didn’t want to be misunderstood.
It may also be in contradiction to things I’ve written in the past, which I’m owning up to and part of my journey.
So I hope it’s read with an open mind.
I finally found my voice to speak on this when Malaka Grant shared her own sentiments about the word (feminists) in a Facebook post; finally someone related to how I felt.
If anyone had told me years ago I’d be called a feminists or soldier of some sort for women’s rights, I would have laughed it off.
And to be honest I still don’t know if I’m a feminist, but I’ve assumed the role because it’s what’s been conferred on me.
See I didn’t grow up dreaming to become a feminists, and I don’t know how many girls grew up hoping to live in a world where women needed to create a movement to fight for equal rights.
Not me.
So I’m always surprised when women want to fight for the title or attempt to discredit anyone who doesn’t live up to its name.
Which is one of the reasons why I struggled with calling myself one in the first place, because many feminist themselves have created the impression that the title was reserved for women who went to seminars, wrote books, studied theories went on marches and spoke at length on the subject.
The things I’ve done that people have described as feminism are basic principles I grew up with and assumed everyone subscribed to. I didn’t do them because I was trying to earn a title, I did them because they were the right things to do at the time, and also because of my values and the things I learned growing up. I said as much in my posts : A Piece of My Mind
I’ve always been under the assumption that we all grew up with the same values and hoped some of the things we picked up as children stuck with us.
Like not seeing colour, gender, religion, tribe or race but a human being.
Didn’t we play together, share food, help each other up and make friends irrespective of their background?
So what happened to these basic instinct we had as children?
When did it become ok to watch as someone was abused and did or said nothing, or feel more entitled than others?
When did we stop being kind,respectful and treating everyone equally.
When did it become necessary to have feminist or activists to encourage us to be the very things that came so naturally to us when we were younger?
At some point I attempted to coin a word I felt more comfortable identifying with, and came up with an EQUALIST. Because I didn’t only believe in women’s Rights, I was against the discrimination of people because of their colour,race,religion, sexual orientation etc. But I didn’t understand why I needed a label for it.
And that’s been part of my confusion.
So when I read this piece on feminism by Betty Kankam Boadu I found myself pondering the subject again.
She titled the piece: The “So- Called” Feminist on Social Media, the Struggle is Real,
First of all, I applaud all the work this woman has done(if she’s done any) in the fight for equality, and my opinions here have more to do with what she wrote than her person. These conversations are important to the cause, so it’s nothing personal.
Her write up talked about how many feminist on social media were not, for lack of a better word, the real deal.
And how they were attention seekers, people who’ve probably never gone beyond their “rants” on social media and women who just insulted any man who they felt had attacked women, and others who had an opinion different from them.
She went on to list examples of feminist who were a true representation of the word and the “struggle”, they did the “real and dirty” work that produced “golden” results.
Now before I go into the “jabs” this woman threw at these group of women, let me first acknowledge the valid points she made.
She spoke on the importance of being more than just a voice online and a need to extend it to actions. Something I strongly believe in and have said many times on this platform.
True activism goes beyond social media rants.SELECTIVE ACTIVISM, is what I call it, because an activist doesn’t only choose to be one when its popular,or trending, your lifestyle, how you treat others etc is part of the cause.
You also don’t pick who and when you speak up for something, your life should represent who you are online.
Unfortunately on several occasion I’ve watched as women have pounced at a man for making a sexist comment, but have turned round to shame another woman because she didn’t meet up to their moral standard.
Where the writer lost me a little was her attack on the women she called “social media feminists” and her general understanding of feminism in the first place. To be honest the whole write up was a lot of contradictions because she was so focused on discrediting these group of women.
Like many other feminists, she tried to limit the title to a select few, women worthy of the word, women who’d acted in a certain way to be given the title, an imaginary standard one has to follow to “belong”; an elite group of women, defined by class, moral and social status.
And the examples she listed of women she regarded as “real feminist” was geared towards this notion; like Julia Roberts for walking barefoot because the organizers had turned women away for not wearing heels, Anita Hill for suing her boss for sexual harassment and Amie Ferris-Rotman, founder of Sahar Speaks, for training female journalist in Afghanistan.
But would Amber Rose fit into her “elite” list? I’m sure not, because from her tone and choice of words it’s easy to see that she’s prejudice against a certain group of women and her moral convictions will not allow her to accept them as feminists. So Amber Rose and her SLUT WALK that go beyond social media, raise money for women of sexual abuse and nearly all the other things the writer speaks of “real feminists” doing will still not qualify her to be part of the select few. Because like the women who spoke up for Hamamat when she was being shamed for what she wore, Amber encourages women to go “naked”.
That’s what I gathered from the statement she made about Hamamat’s issue when she sarcasticly wrote;
But after jumping on Hamamat Montia’s viral red carpet “situation” by telling all women to get naked and do whatever they want with their bodies any day any time anywhere.Unfortunately she failed to see that the selective activism she tried to accuse some women off was exactly what she was doing here.
How can you fight for the liberation of women on one hand and shame a woman for being too liberal on the other? Or does liberation have limitations? And this is what several women, activists or not do daily.
This goes to show that our religion, personal opinions and moral convictions trumps all rules of feminity.
And what people don’t get is, these are the core reasons we have inequality in the first place, because people measure everyone by their own standards and way of life; its for the same reason men have treated women badly.
Even by describing these women as “SO-CALLED FEMINIST”, she tried to discredit their authenticity and shame them in the process.
She painted them as attention seekers, who probably didn’t even understand feminism and called them out for not having “balls”.
She didn’t believe these women practiced what they preached and weren’t as active in their lives offline by way of advocacy as they were online. (Something we could easily accuse the writer of as well)
But how does she even know anyones intentions for writing and whether or not it’s for attention ?
How does she know if their activism is limited to only social media? Unless she lives with any of these women or knows them personally it’s an unfair assumption.
Even if there was such a thing as SOCIAL MEDIA FEMINISTS; and some of the women she described weren’t as vocal offline, would it dismiss the work they do?
Not everyone has to go on the streets screaming and shouting to make a difference.
Their “rants” as she calls them have sometimes brought much needed awareness to several issues we’ve all been ignorant about.
The anonymity of social media gives some of these women the opportunity to share their experiences and empower others through it.
Just as Julia Roberts made a statement with no words by going barefoot, so have others through their voice online.
Every contribution to change is relevant and people use tools they’re confident in, some through their music, arts, movies, sculpture, etc
How can you on one had praise predecessors who fought for women’s rights in diverse ways and still condemn women who’re choosing their own way to stand up for something.
Is Julia Roberts barefoot statement, more powerful than MALAKA GRANT countless write ups on the subject?
And even if some do it for the attention, we can’t deny their continuation to the “noise” needed to make people pay attention.
Bring back our girls started off as a hashtag on social media and yes many just joined the fad without understanding what it meant, they just wanted to be part of the “cool club”, and even I spoke about it; but their actions, genuine or not added to the noise and made the hashtags popular enough to get even presidents to take notice.
I think the writer is under the misguided idea that social media “activist” have the easy way out.
But do they?
Unless they’re using aliases these women put their names out there for all to see, they work, have families, friends and live the same lives others do.
When they step out of their homes people know them, and nothing stops them from being subjected to the same attacks other activists who probably go out on the streets do.
If anything at all I think they sometimes have it worse than most; because the same internet gives people the power to attack them verbally and persistently all the while hiding behind the anonymity social media provides . I can’t count the number of abusive messages and threats I’ve received from people I don’t know on social media. And that’s even more frightening, because I can’t put a face to who wants to harm me and may never see it coming.
So I don’t understand when she writes;
For those making “noise” on social media as if you are more feminist than anyone else I wish you can stand tall and not hide behind social media and speak for the women who are being maltreated by their men bosses in your offices.Because unless these women never step out of their houses, they’re at equal risk if not more. Nothing protects them from losing their jobs, being disgraced and mocked. Or any of the other things the believes social media protects them from.
You can’t make presumptions on people’s lives when yours can also be called into question.
Are you as vocal in your own life as you’ve just been in the piece you wrote?
And this is why I’ve struggled with being called a feminist for so long, because I don’t want to have to compete for a title, or let a word define me, or limit what I can or cannot do.
I’m just Lydia Forson, and if my actions make you think I’m a feminist then I won’t deny you the right to call me that; but what I say and do has more to do with the person I am than who I want to be perceived to be or an association I belong to.
Sadly this write up seemed like was was coming from a place of irritation, a personal vendetta she probably had against someone and used this to throw jabs at them and anyone walking the same path.
The only thing the writer successfully did was unfortunatly reinforce the same stereotypes many people have about feminist and anyone that speaks against the status quo; by calling them attention seekers ( like Anita Hills was accused of), insulting, loud, hate men and are constantly looking for a fight.
Maybe instead of focusing on who’s more or less of an activists or feminists, let’s focus on becoming better people.
Then we wouldn’t have to live in a world where feminist were needed, or groups like black lives matter, the LGTB or any of the many people fighting against discrimination, oppression and abuse existed.
Because really, the only thing the word feminist means is that women still don’t have equal rights, our fight should be about trying to get to a place where the word won’t be needed than it should be about who deserves it more.
I leave you all with this post from Malaka Grant that sums up everything that drives me to speak up.
I AM NOT A FEMINIST
I feel like I need to say this one more time, even though I’ve blogged about it again, and again AND AGAIN on M.O.M.
I am not a feminist, and I don’t say this with disdain. I don’t say this as a diss to my feminist sisters. I say this because I am not *worthy* to be called a feminist.
I have never attended a feminist seminar. I have never read any books on feminist philosophy. I have never marched for feminist causes. I cannot properly explain feminist theory. I have done nothing in my life to earn the title of “feminist”.
A lot of my core beliefs about women and humanity come from a place of decency, good common sense and my Christian faith. You can’t economically/socially suppress 51% of your population and think you’re nation is going to achieve anything but failure and poverty.
It’s just impossible. You can’t rob people of their rights and expect them not to react. That’s just insanity. So when I write about issues affecting women, it’s because 1) I believe this is the heart of God as we are part of His creation and 2) that’s what my parents taught or showed me. It’s got less to do with what Chimamanda or Gloria Steinem said.
I’m keeping this short because the people I wrote this for have limited attention spans. In sum: Don’t judge the feminist movement by my utterances. They are *Malaka Grant’s* thoughts and views, not those of the feminist core. If I say that “all Ghanaian men are rapist and/or rape apologists UNTIL PROVEN OTHERWISE”, it’s because I’ve observed your gender’s propensity to rape and then attempt to sweep it under the rug. That’s not feminism or the fault of feminism. Feminism will attempt to engage you and educate you. Malaka will just tell you you’re nasty and you need to fix yourself. – MALAKA GRANT ""
SOURCE:
Lydia Forson Blog /September 14, 2016
